‘All I’ve ever wanted is twins or triplets. It’s my biggest wish, and I’m going to keep trying until I do it.’It would be fantastic. In fact, I won’t stop trying until I’ve done it. I love having babies – it’s the most wonderful thing in the world.’

I found this article on DailyMail.co.uk mentioning some crazy lady who might just be our next Nadya Suleman. Sarah Foss wants a set of twins so bad she’s willing to continue popping buns out of her oven until she gets them. Right now she’s up to 14 children with no end in sight.

It began when Sarah became pregnant with her firstborn Patrick. Then she was uncomfortable with the birthing process and swore she would never have another child. 10 years later, she got over that fear and has given birth to an average of one child per year.

Currently she accepts £50,000 in benefits and gets £4,200 in tax credits and family allowance monthly. Sarah and her live-in man, Stephen, share a three bedroom apartment with their bevy of children – the eldest Patrick excluded. She says that most of the children sleep on airbeds and cots because there isn’t enough space for more conventional sleeping arrangements.She takes care of business on the home front while Stephen works as a canal boat builder. Their list of expenses runs on for miles with a price tag to match.

All this just for a set of twins.

Reading the article, this woman’s life sound more like a nightmare than a dream come true. Her tone from the interview sounds happy, as she cheerily describes the mountains of work involved with running such a crowded household and the astronomical amounts of money it takes to keep the family going.

On top of it all, as if her poor kids weren’t going to be teased enough when they got to high school, check out the names they have given the children (along with the parents explanation of why/where the name came from):

Patrick – named after Sara’s grandmother’s surname of Patrick

Stephen – after his doting dad, Stephen

Malachai – after a character in the horror film, Children of the Corn

Peppermint – after Sara started craving mints during her fourth pregnancy

Echo – after a group of eco-campaigners who Stephen met during a job at work

Eli – another character in the 1984 film Children of the Corn

Rogue – a character in the film X-Men

Frodo – hobbit in Lord of the Rings

Morpheus – a character in film, The Matrix, staring Keanu Reeves

Artemis – book character, Artemis Fowl, an obnoxious teenage criminal

Blackbird – named after a gathering of blackbirds which flew onto Sara’s lawn

Baudelaire – named after the Baudelaire orphans which featured in Lemony Snicket’s film A Series of Unfortunate Events

Voorhees – named after serial killer, Jason Voorhees in the horror movie, Friday The 13th

Not that the big day didn’t have a few bumps in the road. Jon was sent to pick up the cake, and lo and behold, Mady’s name was misspelled. No big deal, but for whatever reason, people just don’t like seeing their names misspelled on birthday cakes. I know I’m one of them.  Supposedly, an unnamed female caller placed the order for the cake and added an extra “D” in Mady’s name.

The bumps in the road did take a slightly more attention whoring twist in the form of Jon’s publicity antics. The suspicion is that Jon tipped off some photographers about the time of the party (and his presence at the home, of course) in exchange for some moolah. Radar Online has the riveting footage of that little stunt. In the video Jon claims he’s just stepped outside to “make a phone call”. Riiight. I’m beginning to think that Jon has “paparazzi-sense”. He can feel the presence of a camera up to five miles away (and then wastes no time jumping in front of it).

Is anyone else creeped out by the two “Team Jon” fans in this video? They even had T-shirts made! Ewwww. If it were me, I’d be weirded out by strangers coming to my home wearing my name on a shirt. But not Jon. He seems completely unphased as they discuss their rad shirts while he signs them. Words are not enough to describe my feelings about this. Just know that it makes me supremely uncomfortable.

The video is mercifully short (I don’t know how long I could take Jon’s emo, monotone replies to the media hounds crowding his fence). Jon eventually pulls out his phone to make that call that he ostensibly intended to make in the first place, then slowly begins wandering back towards the house.

So there you have it. I can only hope for the kids’ sake that their birthday went as smoothly as it appears to us.

Hopefully these two can keep the squabbles down and focus on the real stars today. It’s not everyday a person turns 9 years old, so I expect them to make it a special day for the twins. Happy birthday girls!

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